The hollow shell of the Consumer cannot resist the glorious role of Data Trash
To dispell the fears of all you cynics holding fast to the outdated concept of the body as a temple, Listen Up. The New England Journal of Medicine has figured it out for you and Scientific American makes sure you hear them.
You heard right. Our Scientists can tell you your future - probably - and it won't give you any anxiety or affect you and your lifestyle in any way!
Through the miracle of Personal Genomics we get a fairly accurate reading of what future disease you will contract should you fail to get hit by that bus.
What will this mean for your insurance or the cost of health care? Don't fret dude. Because of the study of 3600 individuals only 2037 completed the study and of those people 90% were not concerned at all. And only a few who were found guilty/positive were planning any more stress-free testing in their future.
You may ask yourself - Why would less than two-thirds of the people continue the study?
The answer is simple - Americans are genetically predisposed to be lazy and rarely finish things they start because of high rates of ADHD.
So I urge everyone with extra dough or access to a credit card to put your DNA where your mouth is.
Get out there and get tested before it's too late. Get off your keister and get into my database! You don't want to be the last in line when the pretreatments have moved from the laboratory to the marketplace. You want to get in on the ground floor while Genetic Therapy is still an American growth industry.
Bernie Watson and Francis Madoff
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